BREXIT Timeline (you are welcome)

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Hello and hi. Well now, look what I have…I have a BREXIT timeline for you. How great is that? Pretty great I think. Our Theresa May has kindly informed the European Council that she will trigger Article 50 on Wednesday 29 March.  It is finally happening. Woot woot! We are Brexit-ing…0f course it will be a long and protracted affair and will last 2 years (possibly more). But at least now, we have a date. Please read that sentence again.

May I also remind you, dear reader, that: ‘Brexit means Brexit’…Yes. Yes, it does. Brexit does not mean: ‘fish and chips’ or ‘egg and chips’ or ‘yellow and blue make green.’ It simply means that Brexit means Brexit. Like we didn’t already know that. Honestly.  Anyway, that being said…here is the timeline of what is going to happen now. You are welcome. Ok, lets do this. Let us get on with the getting on…

Timeline of BREXIT.

(Potentially. Hopefully. Please God, make this be true and accurate….)

  • 29 March, 2017 – UK triggers Article 50
  • April – European Council president Donald Tusk expected to call an EU summit of the 27 leaders (without the UK) to agree to give the European Commission a mandate to negotiate with the UK
  • After the EU 27 summit – European Commission to publish negotiating guidelines based on the mandate the EU leaders give it. The EU might say something about possible parallel negotiation on a future EU-UK trade deal
  • April/May 2017 – Negotiations begin
  • 23 April and 7 May – French Presidential elections
  • 24 September – German parliamentary elections
  • Autumn 2017 – The UK government is expected to introduce legislation to leave the EU and put all existing EU laws into British law – the Great Repeal bill
  • October 2018 – Negotiations conclude (The Article 50 negotiations could be extended, but this is subject to the approval of the other 27 EU member states)
  • Between October 2018 and March 2019 – The Houses of Parliament, European Council and European Parliament vote on any deal
  • March 2019 – UK formally withdraws from the European Union

(source: BBC News)

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BREXIT and the Queen

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Hello and hi. The BREXIT drama continues. Luckily, I am here to keep you informed with BREXIT. You can thank me later. Ok, let’s do this…

This past week, The Queen gave Royal Assent* to the Brexit bill. Essentially, this simple, yet, profound act by the Queen has cleared the way for our Prime Minister, Theresa May to commence talks to leave the European Union. That’s right folks, we still have not officially Brexited. Nope.

Further, The European Union (Notification of Withdrawal) Bill was passed by MP’s and peers this past Monday. Yay. This allows the Prime Minister to notify Brussels formally, that the UK is leaving the EU-along with a 2 year process of exit negotiations to follow. Please read that again. That’s right, 2 more years before we actually leave. Can you say: ‘terribly long drawn out process?’

Anyway, Theresa May has said that she will trigger the process by the end of the month. We hope. I hope she does. But Scotland’s Nicola Sturgeon has other plans (more on that later). Brexit Secretary  David Davis added: “By the end of the month, we will invoke Article 50, allowing us to start our negotiations to build a positive new partnership with our friends and neighbours in the European Union, as well as taking a step out into the world as a truly Global Britain.” Sheesh, that was a terribly long sentence. Don’t you think? I do. So funny how politicians always use 45 words when they can just use or say 5.

To be honest, David Davis as Brexit Secretary has no idea what is going to happen once the UK leaves the EU (nor does anyone else) but,  he has clearly tried to quell any fears that British people may have -once we actually leave. Davis seems to think that everything will be hunky dory once we leave the EU…I am not so sure.





* Royal assent is the method by which a country’s constitutional monarch formally approves an act of that nation’s parliament-thus making it law. In the vast majority of contemporary monarchies (and let’s face it-there are plenty) this act is considered to be little more than a formality. Sometimes a European monarchy will have the power to withhold royal assent-but this is extremely rare.


The BEST swear word in the UK is…

Image result for image of a british person swearing                                                                                                                                   Image: The Mirror

Hello and hi. Oh believe me, you-I got plenty to say about BREXIT but I will have to get to that later. For now, today, at this moment I want to talk about swearing in the UK. We all know (at least I hope you do) that our Adele has a ‘potty mouth’. Yes. Yes, she does. And that is one of the many reasons why we love that London girl so much. Adele swears like a sailor-she sure does. But, I digress.

According to a recent analysis of 500K online product reviews-it was found that the curse word used more frequently than ANY OTHER when giving negative feedback was…wait for it…you ready? Ok, ok…the most used curse word in the UK  was: ‘shite.’ Yup. Apparently, Britons (and a certain American blogger) just love to use swear words-and will use said words when describing something they don’t like. Yup. So, here in the UK we say ‘shite’ an awful lot. Like all the bloody time.

As reported in The Times, the word ‘shite’ is unique to the British isles and according to Professor Simon Horobin, of the English language and literature department at Magdalen College, Oxford-he had an interesting theory on this word. Horobin said, “The word is regional in origin but it is found earliest in Irish and Scottish use. The earliest uses…date from the 18th century when it was used descriptively-‘to take a shite’ or, ‘his shite stinks’ etc. but by the early 20th century it was used to describe something worthless or an unpleasant person. Its origin probably lies in an alternative pronunciation of the word sh*t with a long vowel.” Wow…Horobin is a Professor at Oxford, so he must know his sh*t. Horobin also added that the earliest example in literature of ‘shite’ as an exclamation and the phrase ‘don’t give a shite’ was seen in Ulysses, by James Joyce, in 1922.

That is all very interesting but what I really need to know is that you, dear reader, swear too. Please tell me you do…or we simply can’t be friends. I swear often if not frequently. But I rarely swear in front of my parents. Some of my friends do…and that’s ok for them. Me, not so much as I want to continue to live-so I don’t swear in front of my parents. For real.

The curse word most often used by Americans was “sucks” while Australians prefer the curse word “boob.” Hey, we are all different. In other places around the world, common curse words were:

  • Finland-Paska=(sh*t)
  • France-Merde=(shi*t)
  • Swedish-Skit=(crap)
  • Italy-Schifo=(disgusting)

Haha, I am definitely seeing a common theme here with the aforementioned swear words. So, there you go-a post about the most popular swear word in the UK (and other parts of Europe). Not your average read, but then again, I am not your average blogger. No. No, I am not. That is all.




Who is Nicola Sturgeon?

Hello and hi. Oh Nicola…how could you? Nicola Sturgeon has lost the plot. Or rather, she has lost her mind. Yes. Yes, she has. Who does she think she is? Yesterday, Nicola Sturgeon announced that she would seek a second independence referendum. In brief, the people of Scotland will vote (again) whether or not they want to leave the UK. Don’t leave Scotland…stay. We belong together. We are stronger together. Yes.

In addition, Scotland needs to request (yes, request) the right to hold the referendum…and the UK government needs to agree. This should be fun. Not. Like I said: Oh, Nicola, how could you?

I can tell you this…Theresa May was NOT impressed with Sturgeon’s announcement. Will blog on this topic later, but now- get to know Nicola Sturgeon here…

Life in London

Salutations. I hope you know who Nicola Sturgeon is-or else we can’t be friends. I kid. But if you don’t know who she is, well I am happy to shed some light on this bonnie lass/girl. After all, knowledge is power. You are welcome.

Nicola Ferguson Sturgeon was born on 19 July 1970.  She is a Scottish politician and is the 5th and current FIRST MINISTER of SCOTLAND and she is leader of the SCOTTISH NATIONAL PARTY, Sturgeon has been in office since 2014. She is the first woman to hold either aforementioned positions. Right On. Mad respect for her and what she has accomplished. Sturgeon is a law graduate from the University of Glasgow and has worked as a solicitor. And if you know me at all, I have got massive love for solicitors and barristers.  But Scots Law (Scottish Law) is different from English Law and I am…

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British Culture 101

Life in London

Hello and hi. FYI: this post is L-O-N-G. You may want to read this if you have both the time and inclination to do so,  as well as make yourself a nice cup of tea to drink, while you read this. And please use freshly boiled spring water and not water from the Thames. Ok, let’s do this.

You just gotta love British Culture. Am I right? I mean, if you don’t…well then, we can’t be friends. The other day we celebrated the 4th of July back home in the U S of A. Truth be told, there was not much fanfare here in the UK about that particular holiday. Why is that? Sheesh. Mind you, I did fly my American flag that day in my garden. And I largely ignored the strange looks I received, as I stepped onto the Underground, draped in the American Flag, along with my…

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Bran Van 3000 (BV3)/Drinking in L.A

Hello and hi. Happy Saturday. I heart this song. If you don’t like it-just know that we still cool. For me, it is the perfect Saturday song. It resonates with me deeply, as I too asked myself this same question while living in Los Angeles-at the age of 26. ‘What the hell am I doing drinking in L.A. at 26?’  But that was a long time ago, when I lived in the city of Angels doing important stuff and I was ‘feeling kind of groovy, working on a movie’ while  being kissed by the sun 365 days a year as a canopy of smog hung dangerously low and heavy over the city of Los Angeles. But… That was then, This is now (novel by SE Hinton). Now, I live in London Town. Yes.

Bran Van 3000/BV3 is a Canadian alternative rock and hip hop collective from Montreal, Quebec. The name of the group is derived etymologically from Swedish liquor: Brannvin, which is a style of sprit- best described as a low-grade vodka. So, I have been told. I can’t confirm or deny that. Truth.

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Hope you like the video (it is kind of weird though).


The latest BREXIT news (woot woot)

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Hello and hi. Dear readers-for your eyes only (James Bond reference) I am about to tell you the latest BREXIT news. Oh and please know that ‘woot woot’  is just the American version of how Brits say ‘Hurrah!’ or ‘Hip hip Hooray.’ I just wanted to make that clarification. So, let’s get on with the getting on. So, this happened…

So, BREXIT. Trust you know all about it. Please tell me you do or we simply can’t be friends. So BREXIT is still very much in our political, economical and social ether-here in the UK. In other words, we are deluged with BREXIT news all the bloody time…and guess what…the government shall continue to discuss it until 2020. Because 2020 is when we actually leave the EU…or simply put, when we actually ‘Brexit’.

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However, the UK could in fact exit the EU without paying anything-if there is no post-Brexit deal. The government would be in a pretty strong legal position if the 2 year Article 50 talks ended with no deal-according to the Lords EU Financial Affairs Committee. Yes.

Wait. What? So, check it-the Lords are now reviewing and chewing over Brexit (remember it was previously in the House of Commons, before that.. the UK Supreme Court-THANKS GINA MILLER, and now the Brexit proceedings appears to be under review in the House of Lords…with those terribly smart unelected peers who make up the government but rule mightily over us).

So, Brexit and any subsequent amendments is currently being looked over by The House of Lords. Do you now see why this process is taking so long? Oh my goodness gracious me. So, now the Lords EU Financial Affairs Committee has gotten involved and saying how the UK could exit the EU without paying anything if there is no post-Brexit deal (as I mentioned earlier). You see, leaving the EU, many have likened the process to an amicable divorce. Further, it has been reported that the EU may demand a ‘divorce bill’ of up to £52bn. Wait. What? The EU needs to back up-or as the London slang goes: ‘jog on, mate’ which means: ‘get lost!’ So, the UK is leaving and we have to pay to leave? Erm…nope. Jog on, mate.

So, the cross-party committee (within the House of Lords) indicated that billions in pounds of liabilities was “hugely speculative” and there was a case that there may be no upfront cost to leaving. Essentially, in lay terms…the UK is leaving the EU club and some are saying in order to leave the club-you need to pay leaving fees. Uggh. I can’t even with this. Let us just BREXIT already-and why wait until 2020?

The committee later added (and it was far more eloquent than how I described it)…but they said the following:

  • “Although there are competing interpretations, we conclude that if agreement is not reached, all EU law – including provisions concerning ongoing financial contributions and machinery for adjudication – will cease to apply, and the UK would be subject to no enforceable obligation to make any financial contribution at all,
  • This would be undesirable for the remaining member states, who would have to decide how to plug the hole in the budget created by the UK’s exit without any kind of transitionIt would also damage the prospects of reaching friendly agreement on other issues.
  • And later they ended with…and this is actually the crux of it (so please read): “Nonetheless, the ultimate possibility of the UK walking away from negotiations without incurring financial commitments provides an important context.



The peers said that some member states could in fact take legal action against the UK for any outstanding liabilities-but that it was pretty ‘questionable’ whether any international court could have jurisdiction. This was confirmed by Baroness Falkner of Margravine who also added:

“Even though we consider that the UK will not be legally obliged to pay into the EU budget after Brexit, the issue will be a prominent factor in withdrawal negotiations…the government will have to set the financial and political costs of making such payments against potential gains from other elements of the negotiations.”



So, that is where we are. Is the UK required to pay to leave the EU? Is the UK legally obliged to do so? I have no idea. And guess what-no one else does either. But I do know this…I am ready to BREXIT. Enough already.

One last thing, thanks for reading yet another BREXIT post. That is all.






The new £5 note (UPDATE)


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The old £5 note


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Hello and hi. Not too long ago, we here in the UK started using the new fiver. It was bendy. It was plastic. It was cute. It was blue. It looked like monopoly money. Yes. Yes, it did. People were pretty excited, there was a massive build up about it-you see, it is not every day we get new currency. And really, the news about the new fiver was a nice break from the really bad news-the awful news-the sort of news that they reported on the news, the sort of news which makes you weep for humanity.

I mean, I am not going to get into specifics here but some bad sh*t has been happening around the globe. Terrorism is a tangible threat in major European cities and there has been an exodus of migrants and refugees and also there is  a war in Syria and nobody knows how or why or what role the US, Russian and the UK are playing…oh and some African schoolgirls were abducted by Boko Haram. I think you get the point I am trying to make here-the news is bad. Real bad, so when the Bank of England announced that we were  getting a new fiver…I nearly did a double back handspring (not really). Actually, I did a mental double back handspring. I was pretty cock-a-hoop (British English for: excited)

So, the fiver came out and people started collecting them. Some people even sold them on eBay for 10x’s their value. Uggh. Anyway, it was all happy happy joy joy with the  new fiver until…some people (animal rights activists, wacky vegetarians and vegans) said how there were traces of animal fat in the new fiver. Wait. What? Let me back up…

The new fiver controversy

I would like to preface this with the following: I am a vegetarian. But I am normal. Please know I am not one of those wacky vegetarians who tries to make meat-eaters feel bad. I will not call you a ‘carnivore.’ I wont judge you if you eat meat. I don’t eat meat-so thanks for not judging me. Oh and I think about Big Mac’s twice a week and I walk by KFC real slow so I can smell all that yummy chicken, fried in oil that is probably bad for me. The point I am trying to make is-I am not your average vegetarian. Nope.

So, when I heard how some vegetarians and vegans were outraged about the traces of animal fat in the fiver, I just had to shake my head and roll my eyes. I mean, seriously…come.on.people.regain control of your senses (and sensibilities). In fact, they were so outraged that they (about 15K) signed a petition asking…demanding that the Bank of England stop producing the new fiver which was made from polymer-which contained tallow-a type of animal fat. In brief, the new fiver had traces of animal fat and vegetarians and vegans around the UK lost their minds and felt aggrieved. Some shopkeepers even REFUSED to accept the new fiver as legal tender. Oh my Lakshmi. The world has gone mad and is apparently being run by righteous vegetarians and vegans. Uggh.

What happened next…what the Bank of England did

So, the petition was signed. There were some mild protests and other stuff too. All the while the Bank of England promised to look into the matter (but secretly they were none too pleased with these veggie-vegan troublemakers). A few months went by and the Bank of England responded. They indicated that they planned on keeping the new £5 and acknowledged that it contained an “extremely small amount of ” beef fat.

Sorry, not sorry veggie-vegans, the new fiver is here to stay. Yup. The Bank of England concluded “that it would be appropriate to keep the £5 polymer note in circulation and to issue the £10 polymer note as planned, in September.” So, guess what that means? We will continue to use the new beef-laced fiver and then come in September, we will be using a beef-laced tenner/£10 note. Take that you, veggies. That is all.



*please note that I have the utmost respect for vegetarians and vegans here in the UK and around the world. I am one of you. Sort of. Not really. A little. The point is- I was only trying to make a point here. It was not my intention to offend you. I sincerely hope that I did not do so.

Yours in plants,



Dentists in the UK

Hello and hi. I thought I might reblog this post because…dentists and periodontists are people too. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to lie down in a darkened room as I fan myself with an ostrich fan and feed myself seedless grapes. Yup.


Life in London

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Dentists in the UK. I have known a few. Yes, yes, I have. Never mind what the international man of mystery, Austin Powers looks like…this is a gross characterisation that alludes to the fact- or rather, assumes that British people have bad teeth.  They have wonderful teeth.

I was lucky enough to have a healthy relationship with my dentist back home in the US whom I saw every 6 months.  I always left with a toy and a new toothbrush so I was a pretty happy camper.  My Mother played her part giving me and my brother sugar-free candy growing up (she insisted she loved us).  Now I am an adult grown woman living in the UK (woot woot!) and I try not to eat too much Cadbury’s chocolate or Lindt chocolate balls or Quality Street chocolate or Mars bars or Bounty Bars (chocolate covered coconut yummy goodness) but I do.  Every week.  In fact I…

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