Image: The Daily Mail
Hello and hi. Know much about peacocks? Don’t worry-it is impossible to know everything. I mean…come on, now…don’t be so hard on yourself.
As reported in The Times, a Steve Wallace of Jersey* (not his real name-poor guy has had to go underground). Why? Allow me to both inform and brighten your day, while you howl with laughter.
A peacock (of no fixed abode) has caused thousands of pounds’ worth of damage after repeatedly and violently causing damage to Steve Wallace’s NEW Range Rover. It is believed by some (ornithologists/bird experts) that said peacock mistook its reflection in the window of said Range Rover and mistook it for a love rival-thus, prompting it to attack.
Steve Wallace, of Jersey, has indicated that he was forced to have the car re-sprayed to cover the scratches and mend the broken windows. Allegedly. (Come on Steve, I know for a fact that no windows were broken. I was not born yesterday. No. No, I was not. Stop playing. The facts please. Do try to remember that facts are crucial, here. Please and thanks).
Steve Wallace also stated that if the peacock continues to attack his Range Rover, that he may have to shoot the peacock. Wait. What?! Steve! No…just, no. Oh dear Lakshmi, no. Steve-don’t go there. For the love of all that is good and holy…don’t shoot that love sick peacock. Please.
Like I said…when peacocks attack.
That is all.
*Jersey for my American friends…is a Crown Dependency of the UK. Located near the coast of Normandy, France. Jersey was part of the Duchy of Normandy-whose dukes went on to become kings of England from 1066. After Normandy was lost by the Kings of England in the 13th century-and the ducal title surrendered to France-Jersey (and the other Channel Islands remained attached to the English crown.
You are welcome, mate.
NB you can learn more about Jersey here