Hello and hi. Fergie has a new job. Mind you, this lovely lass always seems to be in debt, so it is good and proper that she is now earning a wage and learning once and for all how to manage her money. I mean, her husband’s money. Yes, I said it. It was recently announced that the Duchess of York had been appointed Visiting Professor of Philanthre-reneurship at the University of Huddersfield. What the what?
First of all, please don’t EVER go to Huddersfield. The place is dire. I mean, I should know, I used to nearby. You wont see me there again. Ever. Please don’t go…you have been warned. Next thing, ‘visiting professor’? What on earth? Our Fergie did not even finish school-am not saying she is dumb, I mean she clearly has learned some hard life lessons filled with some hard truths. For example, don’t let your accountant suck your toes in lieu of payment. I am not even making that one up…even though it sounds that way. Next thing. Her role/appointment: Professor of Philanthre-renuership…I mean, come.on. That is totally made up and we all know it. I know it and you know it too.
I mean, Fergie has married a prince and has written an autobiography…but now she is dabbling in higher education? Jesus, take the wheel. Seriously, someone tell me that this is a belated April Fools joke. We all know that Brits have a wicked sense of humour but this is going a bit too far. That is like me saying that Naomi Campbell is jealous of my short, stumpy legs. I can assure you, she is not.
Anyway, that word ‘Philanthre-reneurship’ is simply NOT a word and has never before previously existed. Ever. But it was presumably coined by some clever person with a sharp brain at the University of Huddersfield. They clearly invented it by combining ‘philanthropist’ with ‘entrepeneur.’ Uggh. No, no and no.
And guess what? Nepotism is alive and well. You see, Fergie’s former husband, the Duke of York, happens to be the Chancellor of Huddersfiled University. So, I am assuming that she did not apply via application, get shortlisted, have to go through a gruelling panel interview only to be accepted into the faculty. Nope. Prince Andrew made a phone call and a fortnight later, our Fergie got her job. Like I said, nepotism is alive and well. What next? Maybe in the future, our Kate Middleton will be a senior lecturer in Applied Mathematics at Oxford. But somehow, with all her current roles and responsibilities, I doubt she will have the time.
So, that is the update on our Fergie. You are welcome. Was I too hard on her? Perhaps. Did I tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Yes, yes I did. In closing, I wonder what kind of prof she will be? Watch this space, people. That is all.