(He’s) Perfect for Pippa


Pippa Middleton, sister of the Duchess of Cambridge goes for a run outside her London home a day after she announced her engagement to financier James Matthews.

Hello and hi. Am guessing you have already heard about Pippa’s engagement. If not, here is a quick overview. Before I get started-I would like to point out that I have those same shorts that our Pippa is wearing-mine are blue though. See, me and Pippa are not so different. Respect.

“Miss Pippa Middleton and Mr. James Matthews are delighted to announce they became engaged on Sunday, July 17, and plan to marry next year,” the pair said in a statement on Monday, July 18. Yeah. Slowclap. So yeah, Pippa’s man proposed and she wont be a single woman with 5 cats and a penchant for adult colouring books. Aint nobody got time for that.

Pippa’s guy is a hedge fund manager. I once knew and worked alongside a hedge fund manager and she was meaner than a junkyard dog. Truth. Anyway, have you noticed that all of Pippa’s previous boyfriends have been rich? Well like magnets, rich people are attracted to one another. Am not even sure what Pippa even does-but I know she has ‘bank.’ Why did Pippa not get engaged to a teacher, policeman or firefighter? Well, probably because she does not know any. Or maybe because they are not fabulously rich.

Interestingly, her sister-our Kate…I mean the Duchess of Cambridge was surprised at the news of her sister’s engagement. According to a source, the news was ‘totally unexpected’ and Kate had ‘no idea they were getting engaged so soon’ the source also added that Kate couldn’t be more excited for her sister. Hmmm. I think she is supposed to say that. Kate, like me, feel that this proposal is a bit too premature. I mean, she has only known this guy for approximately a year. I guess we will have to wait and see. Watch this space, people.

As for the ring, it was BIG. It wasn’t as big as Kim Kardashian’s ring but it was pretty massive. Oh and it cost 250K. My word.  If they break it off-will she have to give the ring back? Should she? Meanwhile, somewhere in Africa some girl schoolchildren have still not been returned to their parents. President Mugabe of Zimbabwe is behaving rather badly(as per usual) and Donald Trump might be the next president of the US (not on my watch). So, please don’t be upset if this is my LAST ever post on Pippa and her ring. That is all.

Pippa Middleton, sister of the Duchess of Cambridge goes for a run outside her London home a day after she announced her engagement to financier James Matthews.





  1. nbratscott · July 21, 2016

    Wait….I have 2 adult coloring books!!!

    • samdfb1 · July 21, 2016

      Yikes! Put them in the rubbish at once. Kidding.

  2. Pecora Nera · July 21, 2016

    I have some kids colouring books, does that count?

    • samdfb1 · July 21, 2016

      Waha! Nope. You are safe and relatively normal. Respect.

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