Rats (in the UK)

Britons have been warned to watch out for rats invading their homes after the odds were slashed on it being the coldest winter in a century

Rats in the UK. The end. I once saw a rat in my garden-mind you, I was looking at it from a window. Allow me to rephrase that. I saw a rat once in my garden and basically freaked out, screamed, beat my chest and pulled my hair. This was followed by an impromptu dance to resemble someone walking on hot coals. Yup. Truth. It was a lovely summer day, and ‘Roland’ was hungry and was hungrily eating bird seed which had fallen from the bird feeder, which the ungrateful birds had lazily discarded. The rat was just being a rat and eating. After the ‘incident’ I had to lie down. For 3 days. It was that bad.

Today in the news they are saying that we expecting the coldest winter in several decades in the UK. This means that we should expect rats, as they too want to escape the cold. OMG. Pest control firms normally see a 40% rise in call-outs for RODENT infestations at this time of the year. Great. They have offered some advice on how to stop rats from finding their way indoors. Here is my advice: MOVE. A spokesman for Cleankill Environmtal Services said, ‘with forecasters predicting the harshest winter the UK has seen in half a CENTURY, pest controllers are now advising people to make sure their homes are fully protected against invading rodents.’ This rat-catcher also said, ‘at a time when we feel like bolting our doors and keeping winter cold outside, it is hardly surprising that mice, rats and squirrels are trying to join us in our sanctuaries of warmth.’ Yes. Hardly surprising. Pretty loquacious for a rat-catcher,if you ask me. He also added, ‘they will not only scratch, gnaw and rip items apart to make NESTING materials but they will also chew beams and joists, causing structural damage, and through electrical cables, which can cause fires.’

Tips for avoiding an infestation of RATS this winter include:

-clearing out stair cupboards and checking in the loft for signs of rats.

-checking brickwork to make sure air bricks, which allow ventilation, are intact as larger Victorian ones have gaps large enough for RATS to sneak through.

Recently a woman in Tunbridge Wells, Kent (a rather posh area) was invaded by rats for THREE years before she called a pest controller. Wait. Hold up. Hold the phone. She waited THREE years? I would have waited THREE seconds. The woman said she used to lay in bed at night and listen to them scuttle about. Yes, scuttle. Those rats were probably discussing methods on how to evict the poor woman from her own house. Of course, she set traps for those rats. But the rats largely ignored them and laughed at her and set traps of their own…for humans. Kid not. Thankfully, the woman in Tunbridge Wells no longer has a rat problem, as the pest controller has eliminated them. As for the traps the rats set for the home owner….she gets nabbed pretty often by them. And that is no fish story if you know what I mean.

Pest control firms normally see a 40 per cent rise in call-outs for rodent infestations at this time of year and have offered advice on how to stop rats from finding their way indoors

Cheers Y’all







  1. Yvonne · December 2, 2015


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