IT IS HOT IN LONDON. It will be the HOTTEST day in 10 years. It is actually hotter in London today than in Rio, Hawaii, Italy and Hell. I think you get the point. Oh my Lakshmi it is so hot and the British public are not too pleased about it. This good weather brings many bad things. Seriously. This weather makes people grumpy. Why? Well, allow me to school you. You are welcome mate.
1. Most of us don’t have A/C here in London Town. Some offices do. Few actually. Some trains do too. Actually, few. We don’t sell bags of ice here. If you want ice, you have to go down to the River Thames and wait for a ship to come in that is bringing ice. Kid not.
2. The heat in London Town affects public transportation. The rails expand and the trains simply can’t navigate swollen tracks. I am no engineer but I have heard this before (so am guessing it is true). The busses actually blow hot air from the vents in an attempt to keep the bus cool. Oh, and DON’T EVEN sit in the back of the bus, that is where the engine is and it is hot like fire back there. Trust me on this one.
3. Flip Flops are a ‘no go zone.’ With feet like eagles, British people wear shoes. Again, trust me on this one.
4. The level of complaining about the heat will reach record numbers. People will say things like, ‘oh dear, it is rather hot’ or ‘must go in the garden to cool off’ or ‘its a bit too hot.’
5. Ice cream trucks will be busy. They will need to outsource and hire additional staff as British people by the droves will be purchasing a ’99 with a flake’.
6. Massive cups of tea will be consumed. Because the best way to bring your body temperature down is by drinking hot liquids. Weird.
This is what everyone will be doing instead of working…
As for me….I will be looking for water spots and sports. Here is a picture of me. That’s me on the left. Kidding.