Christmas is a time to ‘spruce yourself up’ as they say on this side of the pond So, I had to act accordingly.
First. Nails. Nope. I wish. Since I have to clean my entire house I will not be doing my nails just to ruin them. Since my butler left (he came with the house) I have to do ALL the cleaning myself. Just kidding. I don’t have a butler and I probably never will. Like I said. I wish.
Second. My eyebrows. Ladies: what a major pain in the arse. Am I right? Yes, I think I am. Yesterday when I went Xmas shopping, I decided to get my eyebrows done-waxed not threaded. Threading is too painful and makes me sneeze and cry in equal measure. Not a good look. Trust me. So, I went for the wax as per usual. THEN, I noticed a bit of thread hanging from the beautician’s lips. Er…did I misspeak? ‘Just for a little tidy’ she quipped. Well, I nearly died. It almost killed me and my blogging days would have come to a premature end. I paid my money for the torture session I mean wax/thread session and went on my merry way.
Third. Enter the body scrub. The Body Shop is incredibly expensive-even though it is a British company. Enter table salt. Try it in the bath or shower. You wont smell like pineapple, mango or even lychee. In fact you wont smell at all. You’ve just showered remember? Anyway, salt is scentless but it makes a great body scrub.
Fourth. My barnet (hair). What on earth? There are some days that the constant drizzle in London Town makes me look like Diana Ross’ love child. Yesterday was that day. I use ‘Horse and Mane’ shampoo. It is actually for horses but does wonders. Enter luscious locks. I highly recommend it. You can find it in the shampoo aisle and in stables.
Fifth. I need to lose weight. I am quite certain that my consumption of mince pies has nothing to do with my weight gain. Enter ‘Flat Belly Water’. This is what you need:
-1/2 cucumber, sliced
-juice of 1/2 lemon
-handful of mint, chopped
-2-3 pints of water.
Add all ingredients and let sit in the fridge overnight. Drink throughout the day. Voila! Flat belly.
I look pretty ok and not like ‘mutton dressed up as lamb’ or even ‘the dogs dinner’. I got my game face on. I mean my Christmas and Boxing Day face. Boxing Day? I promise to reveal all in my next blog post.
Merry Christmas Y’all